THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985)

Chloe, a good friend of mine, badgered me to watch this movie with her since its having a popularity resurgence- triggered by the release of Pitch Perfect. I didn’t watch Pitch Perfect (maybe I should?) but from what I understand, The Breakfast Club was referenced several times during the film, and it was said to have ‘one of the best endings ever’? I’m paraphrasing. It was something like that, right?

But anyway. The Breakfast Club was one of the movies on my to-watch list anyway, so it was good to have company watching it. The Breakfast Club is supposedly one of those 80s movies that shaped a generation, along with other movies also directed by John Hughes. I wasn’t even born in the 80s, but I thought that the themes were really current considering that it was made 20+ years ago. I’ve been wanting to watch it, since its been referenced in Easy A, Community, How I Met Your Mother… among others.

I knew it was about a couple of high school kids grouping together to form something like a support group- but I didn’t know that it all took place over an 8 hour period, I thought it was over a couple of weeks or something. I always seem to have such wrong perceptions about movies…

THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985)

Starring Emilio Estevez, Molly Ringwald, Judd Nelson, Anthony Michael Hall, Ally Sheedy, Paul Gleason, John Kapelos

Directed by John Hughes

97 minutes

Budget of $1mil, grossed $51.5mil

I usually dislike high school movies. I don’t know, I find them shallow, uninteresting, and overly dramatic. Maybe I sound like a snob, but why should I pay to see something on screen that I see almost everyday? I’ve liked a couple of them- Easy A for example, but usually… I’m just pretty bleh. Usually, I don’t really like the main character, she doesn’t interest me in the least, and everything just feels really… unnecessary. But I suppose coming-of-age stories make good fodder for movies, and I found the fresh perspective that The Breakfast Club offers quite refreshing.

So, The Breakfast Club centered on an 8-hour detention for the five main characters-

Football player Andrew ‘Andy’ Clark (Emilio Estevez),

Rich, spoilt Claire Standish (Molly Ringwald),

Troublemaker John Bender (Judd Nelson),

Nerdy Brian Johnson (Anthony Michael Hall),

And my favourite, weirdo Allison Reynolds (Ally Sheedy)

Five of them were pushed into a 7AM detention till 5PM- and look, I’m not American, and I’ve never been in detention, so I was surprised to note that in detention, you’re not allowed to do ANYTHING? No homework, no reading, nothing? That’s an incredible waste of a good day, and I don’t see how that’s really a good punishment.

 During the first half an hour, the characters established themselves- Jock, Rich Girl, Future Criminal, Geek, and Freak- but their stereotypical layers began to fall apart during the next hour, as they began revealing their personal problems to each other, realizing that even though they were all perceived differently, they weren’t so different after all.

 Firstly, I was really impressed by the actors and actresses playing the five characters. They were really good. I especially enjoyed Ally Sheedy’s Allison. She was such a weirdo, and so unashamedly so. I didn’t like the character of John Bender, the bad boy- I never really like bad boys- but Judd Nelson’s performance at least made him quite endearing and not a complete jerk. Emilio Estevez and Anthony Michael Hall were excellent; they really broke out of their stereotypes and gave really affecting performances.

Andrew: We’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all.

It was really funny to see them clashing at the beginning, and having it all out- though I was personally pretty disgusted by Bender’s behavior. I just felt really intruded on behalf of Claire. Bender was so openly sexually harassing her; I felt embarrassed and grossed out. But he’s… Bender, and when he opened up about his family’s problems, I felt really horrible for him- especially with the cigarette burn.

But it was really great to see them all get along after they got high on marijuana. Their little dance party made me grin like crazy. Oh, the marvelous power of drugs (I’m not endorsing them in any way- ADDICITIVE DRUGS ARE BAD FOR YOU, KIDS) There was something inherently joyous about seeing them put apart all their differences and getting along, getting high, getting real weird.

In my school, it’s really cliquish and to be honest, I’ve gotten used to it. I used to openly dislike it when I was in a girl’s school; and I would rebel against it by doing the exact opposite- hopping around aimlessly, and being friendly to everyone.

 But in my current school, where I’m exposed to all levels of social strata, you realize that there are certain people you don’t want to associate yourself with- after all, you are the company you keep. And I don’t exactly want to be addicted to cigs, expose parts of my body, and develop a badass attitude. I’m comfortable being who I am, I don’t want to change myself, and I look to find people with a similar prerogative.

Hanging around people who are negative, have no idea where they’re going, and weren’t brought up to be well-adjusted and well-mannered just make me question myself and my morals. And why should I subject myself to that? Its not my moral responsibility to try and change people who do not want their temperaments tampered with. It seems ‘cool’ to have problems sometimes, to have some ‘dark side’ that is only revealed to a select, choice few.

If you really have some awful problems, I don’t mean to belittle them. Not at all. I’ve supported a friend through a messy divorce when I was younger, and it broke my heart to see what she was going through. It’s just for some of us, who are more sheltered and have been blessed with really supportive and loving families, we’re immediately assumed to ‘not understand’, and therefore be unworthy to be in your confidence about all the shit you’re facing.

I speak for anyone who has been put in this position of not being able to ‘understand’: I can’t promise to be on your side all the time, because in my book, parents USUALLY want what’s best for their children, but I’ll always support your well-being and I’ll support YOU. Being on your side and supporting you are two different things, but I find that people tend to mix them up, unfortunately. And come on, we all have our respective shit. God didn’t give anyone a shit-free life; its just that some of us got it much worse.

 Wow, I wrote a lot about this. I guess I feel really strongly about this, and I feel ‘good girls’ like myself are pretty misunderstood sometimes. We may not be badass or the coolest, but we care. We care so much- sometimes too much.

Whether or not you are considered a ‘bad influence’, a ‘troublemaker’, a ‘goody-two-shoes’, or whatever, I want people to look into themselves and think about what they really want for themselves. Do they really feel happy being who they are? Do they want something different for themselves? You don’t owe anyone anything, if you’re not happy with whom you hang out with and who you are, you can always change, be someone different.

And as The Breakfast Club teaches us- we may all be shortened to ‘convenient definitions’- but we all have feelings. We all deserve respect. And we should never define ourselves with a single word- because we deserve better than that.

Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did *was* wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…

Andrew Clark: …and an athlete…

Allison Reynolds: …and a basket case…

Claire Standish: …a princess…

John Bender: …and a criminal…

Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question?… Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

7.5/10

deserving the amazing.

It sucks to like someone who doesn’t like you back. I get that.

Or maybe I don’t, because I rarely like people, and I’ve never liked a person THAT much.

Am I a robot with no feelings? Am I completely devoid of hormones?

But this isn’t about me, its about you. You deserve something amazing, and I really treasure you as a friend.

Can we just keep it like that?

best friends and boyfriends

I’ve got quite a lot on my chest, so I’m letting it out the best way I know how.

Best friends are tricky. Especially when you don’t get to see them as often as you’d like. Let’s call her K. And when you drift apart, meeting them again can be awkward, though I hate to admit it. And now I find out, my K’s family life isn’t as fantastic as I’ve always imagined, and sometimes envied. Kids grow up, they grow more distant, and the close knit siblings they once were- well, they’re not so close knit anymore. Parents who made lots of cash in the last couple of years, and now holiday at almost every possible opportunity, leaving K home alone with her grandparents.

Which brings me to: why girls my age want boyfriends.

I’ve never hankered after a boyfriend. Sure, I entertain the thought about some guys, but overall, if they won’t do anything about it, I won’t do anything about it, and so far when guys do anything about it, I freak out and run in the opposite direction.

And in terms of upbringing and lifestyle, K has always been lots like me. Our parents are good friends, and largely have the same life philosophy. I’m a little more outgoing than she is though, and I’m also more… (bodacious?? God feel like such a noob using this word) so in terms of guys, I always thought I’d get a boyfriend first. Which sounds callous, shallow and selfish- but I’m being honest.

But late last year, on one of the few times I see her, she tells me she like-likes a guy, and he like-likes her back. Which surprises me A LOT. Barely a day later, just as i’ve started digesting this information, her status is changed from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’ on Facebook.

Which makes me think about family and boyfriends.

I have awesome family life. I can’t complain. Me and my parents rarely argue, and when we do, its usually forgotten by the next day, and hugs and noogie-ing occur. Me and my brothers are still fairly close. We talk often, argue often, but we hug often too.

I’m super duper blessed.

But those people who aren’t so close to their families- do they try to find other sources of love in a girlfriend/boyfriend? In the case of K, I can totally see her doing that. K loves to feel loved. And if she can’t get it from her family, she’ll get it elsewhere. She’s one of those universally-liked people, who people can’t possibly dislike.

I love K. I haven’t met her boyfriend. I want us to stay close. A boyfriend actually does help with that- we have something more to talk about. I just want K to be happy, really.

I just want my best friend to be happy and to have love and feel loved.

sigh.

I guess I’ve known it for a while, but now its more obvious.

I just think its silly to express your dislike for me in the way you do. Not only does it make you look immature, you really aren’t accomplishing anything by not even making an effort to be cooperative.

I have never done anything to alienate you, or be mean in any way. I can only assume its something I find harmless in my personality that annoys you- and I’m not going to change just because you, as a single person, thinks it irritating.

I don’t dislike you, but I am disappointed in you. I would think, as seventeen year-olds, we’d be past that by now. We’d have the maturity to deal with this sort of situation like adults, put our differences aside, and at least make the effort to get to know each other better, so at least, pre-conceived notions aside, we might actually get along.

Being like that is only going do be your disadvantage, and I hope, for your sake, you think about it. Please. I’d hate for this to continue, because the effort in avoiding me is gonna be hard to keep up.

In addition, I’m not the most fun person to dislike. I’ll just treat you normally, just like anyone else in class, and you’re just gonna cringe every time. I’m not going to really respond directly to you, because all this dislike in the world?

Its really not worth it.

So please think about it.

unrealistic expectations

Watching television shows and reading gives me unrealistic expectations about what I want in a partner.

I know I’m a picky person. I don’t want to just settle for just anybody.

And that’s probably why I’ll be single for a long, long time. I haven’t met anyone who I would really want to fill that void in my life. I’ve found other things to fill that void- that’s where the books and shows and music come in. And at present, that leaves me satisfied. I don’t feel the intense craving or aching to do anything else.

But then, there’s the odd instance where you just wish that you were the one in the situation, that you were the girl in the story, you wish there was a Ross to your Rachel, a Nick to your Jess, the Ron to your Hermione… And you wish that that special person would just hurry along into your life (I can’t believe I still want to believe in this so badly).

You get my drift.

But I still sit at home, chug on chocolate milk, and squeal over cute fictional couples.

I need to get out more don’t I.

moping

I have many unhappy thoughts running around my brain, to be condensed to this: Today was a miserable day.

I’m upset over a number of things, and I’m not sure if PMS is contributing to it. But to put them down in a well thought-out, systematic way, I’m going to number them.

I sound like a whiny bitch. Okay, give me 1 day to be a whiny bitch. So there.

1. Office work is awful sometimes. I like my co-workers but urgh. The Paperwork. Urgh. Urgh. Urgh. I think you get the picture. I was matching up flag day tin serial numbers today (I work for a charity) and IT. WAS. HORRIBLE. I still see serial numbers buzzing around in front of my eyes when I close them. And apparently since it was so obvious that I was suffering, the boss scolded(?) one of my co-workers for giving it to me to do. And I feel terrible because of it. Gah.

2. BFF problems. Its hard to acknowledge that I don’t know my own BFF anymore. Even harder to admit that I know its been going on for a while. At least a year. Maybe almost 2. And yet, I still refer to you as my ‘best friend’. Its become a habit. And not one I want to break, never in a million years. And a good friend of mine tweeted this link, and after I read it, I just wanted to puke emotionally (if that is even a thing.) Quoting it down here. Its absolute truth.

-Edit- I can’t find it now. My friend deleted it. I suppose its for the best. I almost wanted to bawl in my office. It was not pretty. I responded by plugging in loud Disney/Broadway and chugging through serial numbers.

But back to my point. It seems that ever since she got a boyfriend, I’m out of the loop. When her great-grandmother’s passed away recently, I wanted to be there for her, to support her and be a really good friend, but I just get the feeling I’m being pushed away again, and again, and again. Its not her boyfriend’s fault. In fact, I’m happy for her. She seems to have found someone who could very-possibly be for the long term, because they GET each others needs (or lack thereof). But I am trying my darndest to connect with her on the level she is with her boyfriend. I want to be involved and be there, but I come off as desperate. The thing about her is that she needs NOTHING.

How do you connect with a person who never wants to confide in you? Who can never tell you her struggles or is too kind to place her trust (and complaints) in you? How do I even know what’s going on in your life anymore? You don’t tell me. When we have a conversation, I’m trying so hard to keep it going.It shouldn’t have to be that way. Yes, when we were kids, we filled up our time drawing nonsense and coming up with stories of Kelly dolls drowning in lakes. It was great, crazy fun. It didn’t involve messy, personal issues. But we’re not kids anymore. We don’t have our streak of weird storytelling to bind us anymore.

And its not your fault I know. You don’t have needs. But I do. I like telling people what’s going on in my life, to hear their views, and I like to hear from my friends, to offer them advice, to tell them not to rush relationships, that the boy is totally wrong for them, that the boy is good for them. And when I offer advice, its because I care. You can’t deprive me of caring. I need to care. I need to care for you, so that I feel we’re actually forging our bonds of friendship.

So if I can’t care for you, what can I do?

I’ve considered you my best friend since I was 9, and since last year, you’ve been my godsister. Somehow downgrading you to ‘friend’ feels like soon you’ll be ‘ex-classmate’, then ‘acquaintance’ and finally just ‘someone I once knew’.

Your mother is my godmother, our parents are such good friends… My heart hurts just thinking about it. But knowing her, she probably suspects nothing. And thats what is so annoying.

3. Number 2 makes number 3 so stupid in comparison. Friendzoning a guy. That’s all I wanna say. You’re a fantastic guy, and you deserve an amazing girl, but that girl is not me. I’m full of enough shit as it is, you don’t want the over-thinking mess that is me.

That’s all for tonight. I feel better after puking… emotionally. I like that phrase. I think I’ll keep it.

life

I guess I try not to be affected, but I always am.

I suppose I try to conceal what I feel, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.

Being yourself is important, but no one said it made you popular.

Being nice isn’t always reciprocated, which is something I’ve yet to learn.

When you’re sixteen, I don’t think you’re supposed to know who you are- or else I’m screwed as fuck.

frustration

I hate thinking I’m not adequate. That seems to happen quite often.

It affects me a lot. My self esteem just goes down the drain. Its no wonder my self-esteem’s in the toilet.

I’ve had the crappiest last hour. I was trying out a new Illustrator tutorial, and getting frustrated at the second step, which is something not out of the ordinary. But I was really annoyed, cursing and yelling at the computer screen. (Illustrator hates me, so so much.)

And then I get this email:

‘Dear Student,

It was a pleasure meeting you during the scholarship interview. On behalf of the Scholarship Review Committee, I would like to thank you for attending the scholarship interview and the thoroughness and effort rendered in your application. We have noted your outstanding academic and CCA achievement. However, in view of the overwhelming number of applicants with outstanding achievements, we regret to inform you that you have not been successful in your application.

You may also like to note that there are scholarships and awards for students from all level of studies. I would like to encourage you to continue to excel in your studies and CCA, and apply for these scholarship/award next year. Remember Winston Churchill once quoted ” Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” 

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you the best in your future endeavours and that your journey in NP will continue to be enriched by the many varied learning opportunities at NP. In addition, a book award of $50 will be credited to your bank account as an encouragement and recognition of the effort you have rendered in your application and interview.

Thank you’

So okay. I mean, I didnt really expect to get the scholarship- did I? Perhaps, somewhere deep in me, I hoped I would. It’d be such a boost.

It just seems my poly life, so far, has just been filled with rejection, rejection, and rejection. I’m not getting anywhere. All my grades (few though they may have been) have been lackluster. And I just feel soooo annoyed.

I’ve been trying my darndest.

Really, I have. I study hard for my tests (and to be fair, I haven’t been graded yet) and okay, I think my projects have gone alright, but I just want so much more.

And I don’t know why this:

” Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” 

made me start crying.

Like really, I don’t cry.

It hits me hard. Do I really have to keep going? Persevering? I don’t seem to be getting ANYWHERE.

But yesterday, I attended a talk by this Year 3 girl, and she suddenly seemed to spontaneously jump into motivational speech mode. She said something along the lines of  how no one should tell you whether or not you’re good enough, that you have to BELIEVE AND TRUST IN YOUR OWN ABILITIES - because she used to be like me too, taking rejection and criticism hard, and believing that the rejection means you suck.

But you’ve got to put it behind you, hard as it is, and God knows its hard.

But that’s the only way you can move on to great achievements.

I’m crying a bit too much for my liking, so I think I’ll stop now- but this random thought just popped into my brain:

Its no wonder I don’t have a boyfriend (not that I’m hankering after one, mind you), I have so much self-esteem issues to work out with myself.

british accents and burlap sacks

There are just some times when I wonder if I’m a likable person.

I think I talk too much and overwhelm conversation. And one of the ways to get people to love you, according to ‘How To Talk To Anyone’ by Leil Lowndes is to be a good listener, or at least appear to be one.

I’m the chatty one, I envelop people into my life. Probably not the wisest decision. And yet, people don’t seem to say anything if I don’t.

Maybe I should consult that book again.

My dad says I have a pouty, rather unfriendly face. I have no argument to that, I can’t exactly judge my own face, though I do put in the extra effort for a smile for someone new. If thats not friendly, I don’t know what is.

I don’t think I’m unattractive- I’m quite decent I think- and once my braces are off, I should be quite decent. Better than decent, hopefully. I like to think I dress relatively alright. Nothing flashy, just my own conservative, feminine but not too girlish style. Its not like I wear burlap sacks or anything. So I think I have external appearance covered.

Don’t really know what’s up with me today, chatting incessantly about what people think of me… I’m usually not that concerned- not obviously concerned anyway.

But forget about the angst.

Today, my Dad hooked up a couple of new channels (or maybe I just never realized they existed) and we found itv, a British channel with UK shows like Miss Marple.

Heehehe, Miss Marple. I always liked the way you pronounce that. Miss MAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRPLEEE.

I like popping the Ps. ‘Tis fun.

And I ended up speaking like a British upper-class lady the whole night. It was quite frightful, to tell the truth. (There I go, again!) So I went about, blathering strange phrases such as,

‘Be a dear and pray do not stain your petticoats?’

‘Oh, those gloves are simply darling.’

‘What a lovely imprint you’ve made on the ottoman!’

‘These coconut-cream-filled-crumpets are delightfully brilliant.’ (Okay, this was a bit mu(n)ch)

I have to stop reading Victorian novels.

They ain’t good for my vocabulary. I should just become an ol’ hick and use load’sa contractions, aye?

Half the time I wasn’t even watching the show since I was playing Avengers Alliance on Facebook, I just picked up bits of words like ‘lovely’ ‘a spot of tea?’, ‘lumps of sugaaaar’, ‘bother’ and ‘becoming’. I fear that if I used these in daily speech, I would get weird looks- weirder than the ones I get at present.

But ANYWAY. I barely gathered anything from the episode (which was really long, or was it just me?) except it was full of intrigue, deaths, poison, and bitchy, unattractive (at least, facially), middle-aged women. I’m sure it was a mystery well-deduced though. UK dramas are always first class, I remember watching (and loving) Poirot. Though I remember very little.

That seems to be the case quite often nowadays.